


i don’t miss miss you

by rocshia



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan is just completely unaware of this, ChanLix, Eating Disorders, Felix also cuts himself, Felix has an eating disorder, Inspired by Music, M/M, Self-Harm, Song: I Don’t Miss U (Woo!Ah), Song: So Sweet to Me (Summer Salt), but he loves him, fluff?, idk what else to tag, if u read the cherry lime fic pls read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:01:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocshia/pseuds/rocshia
Summary: felix is almost 99% sure he doesn’t miss chan, but 1% is 1% too many.the full version of nowadays you’re still my partner in crime, my cherry lime u have all been waiting for hehe
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	i don’t miss miss you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JiminWreckedSugaBias](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiminWreckedSugaBias/gifts), [lixiepixiesticks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lixiepixiesticks/gifts).



> stream i don’t miss you by by wooah kekeke (this is like a more lovey dovey version of the original lyrics). i based half of the word choice off the lyrics so it might be kind of... awkward? hm.  
> 

it had only been a day of chan being god knows where, but felix already missed him. at least, he felt like he missed him, but he didn’t. his brain just liked feeling like he missed him, feeling like he was in love with him, and feeling like he needed him so that he could have something to think about other than his own life.

he should’ve been doing his homework instead of letting the assignments pile up, yet all he had was chan on his mind.

chan was worth so much more than homework.

it had only been a day, yet felix wanted to text him and call him and talk to him  _ so badly. _

he was so clingy to him for no reason, it was like chan had tied their heart strings together and he couldn’t make his heart stop caring for him.

it had only been a day.

but he talked to him as much as he could on the phone anyways.

“where are you?”

“nowhere important.”

“that’s not an answer.” felix retorted.

“did you call for an answer, or did you call me because you like talking to me?”

there was a silence.

  
  


it had now been a week, and felix was sure that his brain was overhyping chan and this feeling would all go away, but he didn’t know when.

the ‘when’ in question was certainly not now.

he was sure he didn’t like chan, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about him and he  _ hates _ it.

so he called him.

“hey.”

“4 AM in the morning?” chan sounds tired, but he also sounds like he’s smiling. “are you okay???”

“oh please, you’re up too!” felix laughs. “i’m fine, but…”

he blushes through the phone.

“i miss you a lot.”

the one thing he didn’t want to say.

how can you miss someone when they’ve only been gone for a  _ week? _

what a  _ big, big mistake. _

“i know it’s only been a week and this is stupid and i don’t know why i feel the way i do for you but do you wanna come back to me?” felix was talking way too fast to the point he didn’t even hear the words coming out of his mouth. if he won’t even tell him where he is, why would he say yes to—

“yeah.” the older responded with no hesitation.

_ he said yes. _

  
  


despite meeting him today, felix would die if chan knew about his eating disorder, let alone his self harm habits.

he wondered if he was skinny enough to be comfortable in his body, but his form of skinny is skinny enough for anybody normal to be absolutely disgusted looking at him.

even though he doesn’t want the boy to suspect anything, he also wants to be as thin as water just to feel pretty next to him.

he wants to be pretty just for him…

.

.

.

how stupid.

there’s a knock echoing in the house, and felix is hoping to god that when he opens the door he sees exactly who he’s been waiting for.

_ god answered his prayers early. _

it’s a saturday, and it’s been a while since felix had seen chan, but now they were together, walking through the forest near his house, trying to get to a nearby river.

getting only four hours of sleep was not the best idea.

felix yawns and stretches his arms out. it’s covered in bandages, and he looks way skinnier than the last time chan saw him, but he doesn’t know if it would be right to ask him about it, so they just walk in silence, with the sounds of plovers chirping in the background.

“shouldn’t you be doing your homework?” chan breaks the silence with a laugh, but he’s completely serious.

“i’ll do it later.” felix makes a promise, but he probably won’t remember to keep it.

“ah, we made it!!!” chan’s eyes light up and felix’s eyes meet the rivers. a cabbage white butterfly flies from in felix’s view to out of it, and the two boys step through pink flowers and dewy green leaves to sit at the side of the water.

“i missed being around you.”

“are you kidding?” chan laughs and looks felix in the eyes. “we texted everyday, and you even facetimed me five times…”

“yea, but it’s nothing like seeing you in person.” felix smiling back. “i just wanted to be next to you.”

“you were waiting for me???” chan smiles widely and sheds a fake tear. “wow, i’m touched.”

at this point, felix can’t contain his laughter. “i don’t know…” he smiles and looks down towards the flowing river.

“i like having your attention.”

there’s 15 missing assignments to do, but he’ll think about that tomorrow.

he thinks about chan everyday, but this day is important, so he’ll think about the older again.

felix liked the way chan distracted him, the way chan made him forget to think, the way chan made him think about him and only him without even trying.

he forgot there even was a river there, he forgot the painful feeling of sitting down while underweight despite all the painting esque scenery surrounding the two, he forgot the neon red rushing out of his skin on days the world felt like too much to stand on because he was now in front of the softest and most beautiful colors in the worlds palette,

_ and it was all his. _

he wishes that the paint used to create this moment would never run out,

but all good paintings must be completed. 

felix just wishes it could end in a kiss instead of them having to be  _ friends. _ he wishes he could tell if the older liked him back or not but he’s not a mind reader and he doesn’t feel like selling his soul to become one just yet.

“felix.”

he turned to chan in an instant.

“what are you thinking about?”

felix just wanted to scream,  _ ‘you, you idiot. i’m always thinking about you.’ _

“the water.”

_ “really?” _

“why would you ask if you already know?”

“i don’t know…” chan began to copy felix from earlier.

“i’d like hearing you say it.”

**Author's Note:**

> was this good enough? did i use too many italics? lol please give feedback T.T
> 
> i wanna improve my writing... can somebody give me words to use instead of the character/person in the story’s name?
> 
> also how do i add this to my series thingy? im still new to ao3 i just learned what rich text was ffs lmao


End file.
